How to get the whole bed for yourself

Simple, really.  Get knocked up, start snoring like a lumberjack and before you know it, the poor husband is tenting it on the couch because there is no chance he’ll catch even so much as a single “Z” anywhere near you.

Benefits: bed is mine. Mine. ALLLL mine.   I also score some bonus pillows that can be added to the current pillow-fort I construct on a nightly basis.  Bonus bonus:  if a little fart comes along too, there is nobody there to notice that either. Except the dog, who flashes a concerned facial expression for a moment and then goes right back to his own version of snoring.
But I do end up missing him a little bit, especially on cold nights when I have nowhere to stick my feet. Plus I get ever so slightly guilt-ridden having snored him right out of the room, but at the same I can’t help it. He’s gotten almost 9 snore-free years out of me, and as they say, payback is a bitch. I also have a feeling once the little one is out, it will be my sleep more than his that gets interrupted.  In the meantime, I’ll enjoy the hell out of both sides of the bed, AND the middle.


One thought on “How to get the whole bed for yourself

  1. Ha..ha…You are so funny. Sibbi complained about me snoring. I have never snored!! But he recorded it on his phone one night and played it for me. Glad to hear that Scott is out of the room……. and Sibbi is not the only one to miss sleep because of loud wife/girlfriend. But now I sleep quietly like a little baby whenever I can steal a moment. So you just tell Scott to hang in there for a few more weeks ;o) and you…sleep as much as you can now…

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