Packing a bag for the hospital

With the due date rapidly approaching, my weekly knocked-up newsletters (from several sources, because I like second opinions) have increasingly been focusing on the all important packing of the hospital bag.

As in, what should you bring with you for labor, delivery and recovery – other than whatever scraps of clothing you can still use to cover your body for the ride to the hospital, along with a pair of flip-flops or Uggs, as appropriate.

There is nothing remotely minimalistic about those lists – with some topping out with over 100 “must have” items. Reading through made me feel like I was heading to a doomsday preppers camp for an extended stay rather than a couple of days in a well equipped modern hospital.
I get that it can be nice to have a few of your own things, its common knowledge that a hospital gown doesn’t flatter anyone and I fully understand the need to smuggle in some snacks…  But enough with the 3-of-everything in at least 3 sizes policy.  And for a planned c-section, I understand a mumu or something similar would be nice for the ride home, to keep clothes off the incision.

Since I don’t want to give the hospital staff the wrong impression, I shall arrive with a packed bag. Trying to at least look the part of a prepared mother, although I’m sure my cover will be out the window 5 minutes in. So far my bag contains 2 toothbrushes (brand new, for this special occasion), toothpaste, lip balm, a pair of socks and a warm zippered hoodie. Oh, and a nice roll of my personal toilet paper, I don’t trust that the hospital will supply the tender quality that my bottom is used to.  This is where I have stalled out. I know I’ll have to add some clothes for the kid to come home in, some undies, toiletries…  and some other crap I guess. As long as I have my iPhone and charger, I can operate the command center from just about anywhere and bring in supplies. During the hospital tour I made sure I had decent reception and finally AT&T’s “largest network in the nation” managed to cover my whereabouts.

Oh, and look at the time. Time to go stab myself again, ugghhhh.