Reality sinking in

Spent the past couple of nights browsing trailers & RV’s on Craigslist with the husband. We’ve settled on a couple that we are going to take a look at and perhaps tow home before the end of the month. The reality of giving up the house we bought together and moving into one on wheels is drawing very, very close. Just waiting for the bank to approve the buyer, set some dates, sign papers and out we are.

It’s been a roller coaster of emotions beginning about a year go with my husband’s accident. It still is. But now, mostly the feeling I have is excitement. I’m very ready to begin this new chapter of my life with less stuff and more freedom. The days between now and trailer time will be filled with purging and cleaning, both the physical stuff and the mental stuff attached to the stuff.

Damn, look at me go, using the word “stuff” 3 times in the same sentence. I apologize to all you English language purists out there, that has to violate some rules.  Meh, oh well. You’ll live.

The more I go through, the easier it becomes to let go of most of the crap, but then there are always certain items with memories so strongly attached that it is hard to give up. Usually it’s something given to me by someone who is no longer with us, and letting go of the thing somehow resembles letting go of the person. It’s hard to do, but at the same time it’s good to do. For both. I get to have less stuff, and my friend in spirit gets to be free wherever she is now. It doesn’t make any less of our friendship, it doesn’t mean that I don’t still wish she stuck around for a few more adventures, but it surely does make room in the life for other fun stuff.

The last of the yamas – Aparigraha – will hopefully be my steady companion for a long time as I learn to let go.

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